Many times, I wish I could start life all over again: life from its infancy... to this day. It’s only a fleeting thought. Frankly, will I let go all the dear things that are mine? Will I part all the precious little treasures that I have collected across years? No. I don’t want to wipe everything from the slate of life—only the bad days, the sadness, the anger, all the mistakes and all that made me poorer.
It was years ago that God took a little chance on me. On that precious day, years of my honeymooning in faith ended. I was on my knees in a lonely monastery. Pushed to a corner, with tear-drenched eyes and with a voice that of a child’s, I told God that I want to wipe clean my life. Nevertheless, I knew that I can’t go back to change one day of my life. Yet, on my knees, in the presence of a loving counsellor, I was willing to start it all over again. Driving back to the Parish Church, I met the Vicar to tell him the newfound joy. Quite confused, he couldn’t appreciate it fully. Even I was a bit perplexed in trying to explain to him. Then I let the joy go...go and find its own place and space in my life.
Renewal I know is not asking others if they are ‘saved’. Renewal is not having God in one pocket and heaven in the other. Renewal is all about establishing a very personal and new relationship that finds time and space for God. Renewal is telling God, “Lord, guide me, use me”. Renewal brings in visible empowerment of God in every area of our life. Nevertheless, I do find it a lot difficult to offer myself wholeheartedly. At the back of my mind, I have so many reservations. If I say, “Lord, take everything I have”, do I really mean everything.... (?)
The basic hallmark of a renewed body of Christ is the yearning that body makes to be Christ-like. It is a daily process, which will reflect the glory of God in us. So, if I am asked, “Are you saved?”...I will always answer, “I am getting to it.”
