Monday, November 7

Just as I am ...

I have been waiting… 
not knowing what to think, what to read, what to pray.
Yet, there is an urge in me, to think, to read, to pray.
And, some of the long days have passed by…
    some of the uncertain ideas kissed me bye.
God tried to talk with me. I couldn’t listen. He said He would try another time.
I am just as I am. 

I ask the Lord to guide me…
    least I do not trespass areas and people who doesn't  need me.
Like the weakening rains at the tail end of the monsoon, 
life is all poised for a change.
How can I be, just as I am? 

I find it difficult to pen.  Why?
Have I drained off all my thoughts away?
The daily living has held me tight in her bosom:  making the home and helping the family.
The daily office and the workouts…the daily people and the places… 
       they all form my daily living...
Just as I am.   

I have been attempting to read, to think, and to pray. 
Yet, I have fallen short of it all.  
I must start to light candles again...I must start to smell the early blooms of the weakening rain.
I must start to break the silence that has retarded my spirits and the evenings that has stolen my zest.
I must start to spark the day with joy and long lost nights with love.  
I must start... Just as I am 

Waiting is a difficult emotion,
People light candles for an immediate motion.
"God, come, come quickly!" 

Yet, I sit somewhere quietly ... (I know God wouldn't come so quickly) !
I am just as I am.